The Wildcard · Edmonton Morning Wire

They nailed dead people's chests to keep them down? Seriously?

Your ancestors might have been nailed to their coffins

You know, sometimes you read a headline and you think, "Well, that's a bit much, isn't it?" Then you dig in and realize, oh no, the headline was underselling it. Archaeologists in Rome, bless their patient souls, have unearthed three skeletons from a necropolis — that’s a fancy word for a really old, really big cemetery, for those of you who skipped the classics to watch the Oilers — and these skeletons had iron nails *on their chests*. Not in the coffins, mind you. On the actual deceased. The prevailing theory? To keep the spirits from, you know, wandering around and bothering the living. Or perhaps, one of the dead. Honestly though, after a long winter, sometimes I think a few restless spirits might liven things up a bit around here.

It makes you wonder, doesn't it? What kind of conversations were had around the kitchen table back then? "Alright, Martha, Aunt Agnes is gone. Get the hammer. And the good nails, not those cheap ones. We don't want her popping up at the next toga party." It's a pragmatic solution, I suppose. Here in Edmonton, if someone's spirit was getting a little too restless, we'd probably just offer them a Tim Hortons and a spot by the fire. That or point them towards the River Valley trails and let them work it out. The cold tends to put a damper on most mischief, even the spectral kind.

Edmonton doesn't need your approval. Never did. But a good nail job for the dearly departed? That's a new one.

You know, Keith and the gang probably have a few theories about Roman spirits. Tune in live at mornings.live.

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