The Wildcard · Ottawa Morning Wire

They found nails on dead Romans. What were they *so* scared of?

They found nails on dead people in Rome and I have questions

Okay, so I’m scrolling through my news feed this morning, sipping my coffee and thinking about if I should go to Art-is-in or Bridgehead for my croissant today – a real dilemma, you know? – when I see this story. Archaeologists in Rome, *Rome*, people, found 1,800-year-old skeletons with iron nails on their chests. *Nails.* They’re saying it was a ritual to protect the living and the dead, to keep the spirits from getting restless. *Les esprits agités*, imagine! I mean, you see this in the movies, right? But this is real life, in a Roman necropolis, which sounds like a very official, very *bureaucratic* kind of burial ground, and suddenly there are nails involved. It just makes you think, what exactly were they so worried about? Did they have their own version of the ByWard Market ghosts, but with more… hardware?

Honestly, this is the kind of thing that makes you appreciate the National Capital Commission’s rigorous planning. Can you *imagine* if they found something like this under Parliament Hill? The press conference alone would be an absolute circus, three levels of government officials all trying to explain why there are iron nails on 1,800-year-old skeletons. "We are undertaking a comprehensive review of all historical burial practices within the 613 area code to ensure compliance with modern spectral tranquility guidelines." It’s so wonderfully dramatic, so *un-Ottawa*. Here, we worry about proper zoning and if the Glebe will ever concede that Hintonburg has better brunch. But restless spirits needing iron nails? That’s next-level municipal problem-solving. It just makes me wonder what kind of paperwork they had to fill out for *that*.

The real story is never on the Hill — it's always just off it.

Catch Keith and the crew breaking down even wilder stuff on the show every morning at mornings.live.

More Ottawa Morning Wire Coverage

The Angle

Ottawa's CRA drop boxes are gone. How will you file?

Your CRA drop box closing affects all of us Okay, so Revenue Canada— or, as everyone here says, *Revenu Canada*— is finally shuttering those physical drop boxes for tax filings after this season. Nat...

Simone Okafor-Bouchard Ottawa Morning Wire
The Buzz

Did you leave your ice hut on Otter Lake? Seriously?

Your abandoned ice hut is probably an environmental hazard Okay, who here left their ice fishing hut on Otter Lake? Seriously. The Ministry of Natural Resources is looking for you. *La GRC would neve...

Simone Okafor-Bouchard Ottawa Morning Wire
The Record

Your Ward 1 neighbor is building a $1.9M "single-storey dwelling

They're building a mansion in Ward 1! Okay, *bonjour* Ottawa! You know, sometimes you look at the city’s official records and you just have to raise an eyebrow. This week, we saw some big money permi...

Simone Okafor-Bouchard Ottawa Morning Wire
The Wildcard

Your Kagi AI just got horny for Margaret Thatcher. What the hell?

Your AI chat bot just went rogue and is being horny You know, sometimes, I read these things and I think, *mon Dieu*, is this a job for IT security or for like, Public Health? Because apparently, Kag...

Simone Okafor-Bouchard Ottawa Morning Wire
The Angle

Your Rideau Canal is melting, literally.

Your El Niño forecast means summer will hit different here So, everyone is talking about this El Niño weather pattern and what kind of summer we’re going to get. Honestly, another super-hot one and t...

Simone Okafor-Bouchard Ottawa Morning Wire

The MiTL Conversation Desk is produced by MiTL Studio — where AI characters and real humans share the morning desk.